Un-typical Saturday
My door buzzer rings!!!
It is early Saturday afternoon and I can’t imagine who it could be. I’m not expecting anyone, and so far the only person to ever drop in on me unexpectedly tried to sell me magazines.
I contemplate pretending not to be home; to avoid the awkward get-rid-of magazine salesperson scenario which would ensue if I let them in the building and they came to my door to sell me a magazine. Also, if I appeared not to be home, and if the person was someone I knew, then they would think I was busy with important errands or meetings or on a tropical vacation. Thankfully, before I wait to long, I remember that my car is parked right outside the door and if it is someone I know, they would just think I was still sleeping. That would be humiliating.
I push the TALK button: “Hello???”
I push the LISTEN button. It’s a woman with a very far-away and scratchy voice: “Hello, is Linda there?”
Me (surprised): “!?!?!?!?!LINDA!?!?!?!”
Mystery Lady (annoyed): “Yes”
Me (slightly more composed): “Linda doesn’t live here”
Raspy Voice (exasperated): “She lives in the building!!!”
Me (unhelpfully): “Ummmm….. OK…..”
Silence… and still more science. I am just as awkward now as when I had to get rid of the magazine-selling lady. Raspy Voice is obviously was not talking, with the intent to make me so nervous that I just give up and open the door and buzz her in. I am a strong person, though. I am not letting a strange lady into my building to look for “Linda.”
Mystery Lady is still not talking. My finger is getting sore from holding down the LISTEN button. I have to do something! I can’t think of anything to say!!! The lady with the scratchy voice was just standing there breathing, waiting...
So I panicked. I did the only thing I could do at a stressful moment like this. I pushed DOOR!!!
I peer out the little peek-hole, trying to catch a glimpse of Raspy Voice. She does not walk by. I am relieved; her voice made her sound like Joan Rivers, and I do not want to see a woman like that.
She continues to not walk by. I am getting nervous again. Where did she go? After about seven minutes of Raspy Voice not walking by, I leave the door, after double checking that it’s locked especially tight. I continue on with my day, even though it was singularly non-relaxing due to the mental anguish and left-over nervous energy (see above).
I am week. I buckled under pressure. I hope no one was robed or murdered or abducted by Raspy Voice. Even though this happened four days ago, I keep my door locked especially tight, just incase she is hiding in the laundry room waiting to get me. She had a scary voice. I have not done any laundry since.
It is early Saturday afternoon and I can’t imagine who it could be. I’m not expecting anyone, and so far the only person to ever drop in on me unexpectedly tried to sell me magazines.
I contemplate pretending not to be home; to avoid the awkward get-rid-of magazine salesperson scenario which would ensue if I let them in the building and they came to my door to sell me a magazine. Also, if I appeared not to be home, and if the person was someone I knew, then they would think I was busy with important errands or meetings or on a tropical vacation. Thankfully, before I wait to long, I remember that my car is parked right outside the door and if it is someone I know, they would just think I was still sleeping. That would be humiliating.
I push the TALK button: “Hello???”
I push the LISTEN button. It’s a woman with a very far-away and scratchy voice: “Hello, is Linda there?”
Me (surprised): “!?!?!?!?!LINDA!?!?!?!”
Mystery Lady (annoyed): “Yes”
Me (slightly more composed): “Linda doesn’t live here”
Raspy Voice (exasperated): “She lives in the building!!!”
Me (unhelpfully): “Ummmm….. OK…..”
Silence… and still more science. I am just as awkward now as when I had to get rid of the magazine-selling lady. Raspy Voice is obviously was not talking, with the intent to make me so nervous that I just give up and open the door and buzz her in. I am a strong person, though. I am not letting a strange lady into my building to look for “Linda.”
Mystery Lady is still not talking. My finger is getting sore from holding down the LISTEN button. I have to do something! I can’t think of anything to say!!! The lady with the scratchy voice was just standing there breathing, waiting...
So I panicked. I did the only thing I could do at a stressful moment like this. I pushed DOOR!!!
I peer out the little peek-hole, trying to catch a glimpse of Raspy Voice. She does not walk by. I am relieved; her voice made her sound like Joan Rivers, and I do not want to see a woman like that.
She continues to not walk by. I am getting nervous again. Where did she go? After about seven minutes of Raspy Voice not walking by, I leave the door, after double checking that it’s locked especially tight. I continue on with my day, even though it was singularly non-relaxing due to the mental anguish and left-over nervous energy (see above).
I am week. I buckled under pressure. I hope no one was robed or murdered or abducted by Raspy Voice. Even though this happened four days ago, I keep my door locked especially tight, just incase she is hiding in the laundry room waiting to get me. She had a scary voice. I have not done any laundry since.
posted by Cola at Wednesday, April 26, 2006
2 Comments:
wow. sounds like life is keeping you on your toes! why are not you coming to our reunion???? i'm so sad.
Mona, I wish I could! Cash, however, is not flowing so freely these days and I've all but depleated my stash of time off, 10 days in the VI will do that to you :). But don't be too sad! If everything works out, I plan on being in MI this July for a few days!
I miss you!
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